When Relationships Feel Hostile, It’s Time for a Fill Up

Hostility is one of those uncomfortable experiences that lingers under our skin, threatens our safety and throws us into survival mode. We tend to avoid others and shut down in the presence of hostility. We may judge ourselves for somehow setting up a situation in which hostility was the default response in another or even ourselves. It fills us with fear, suffering and confusion. 

How do we move away from hostility and into peace? Together let’s turn to our divine selves for finding possibilities.

Fill the wound. It seems like we re-injure a part of ourselves when hostility appears. We sink into a hole and open the storage unit full of painful compartments. If we are able to fill the wound with self- love, our capacity for being hostile and angry towards ourselves diminishes. Now lock the storage compartment and throw away the key. Going forward, you may get scratches and cuts but the wound is sealed and healed.

“When we dump our story of hostility on others over and over, the heart is broken and victim mode is setting in. Time for a fill up on love and compassion!

Fill the self. When we experience hostility something freezes inside us. Our chilly Self wants a fast and easy way to thaw out and return to warmer climates. The way back to warmth is to open the Self to light. Talk to a stranger. Skip in the woods. Help someone and smile. Wrap your arms around yourself with compassion.

Fill the mind. When we go into mental and emotional overload, there is no room to listen to the soft voice inside. If racing past rational thinking and into monkey mind is happening, say “Stop It!” at the top of your voice. This radical and surprising action shifts and resets the mind. Close your eyes and return to a vision of the world as a loving place.

Fill the heart. When we dump our story of hostility on others over and over, the heart is broken and victim mode is setting in. Beware of crossing the line from open-minded to helpless where no one can “rescue” you. Push hostility out of your system before it robs you of any more time and energy. Identify key people who can fill your heart with tenderness until the moment passes from your awareness.

Believe in yourself and your strengths. Actively commit to seeing yourself as whole and peaceful when hostility threatens to take over. Never give up!

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