When will this pain end?

Manny’s wake up call

“I prayed for change,
so I changed my mind.
I prayed for guidance
and learned to trust myself.
I prayed for happiness
and realized I am not my ego.
I prayed for peace
and learned to accept others unconditionally.
I prayed for abundance
and realized my doubt kept it out.
I prayed for wealth
and realized it is my health.
I prayed for a miracle
and realized I am the miracle.
I prayed for a soul mate
and realized I am the One.
I prayed for love
and realized it is always knocking,
but I have to allow it in.

— Rumi

7:00 A.M., Manny awakens. Time to go to work and help get the kids ready for school. He grunts and remembers that today is different. Due to COVID-19, he works from home using video and phone meetings. In between work, he manages household chores and online schooling. While eating, Manny watches the news and scrolls through feeds focusing on the virus.

Manny struggles to stay in-control and positive. Unaccustomed to being constantly at home around his wife and kids, he feels trapped. He loves his family, but dirty dishes, kids’ screaming and competition for screen time gets on his nerves. Crazy how bathroom time is now sought as alone time.

Manny’s Aunt Betty is in Intensive Care. She has Coronavirus. Betty’s son receives brief updates from the medical staff. Family members are not allowed to visit. The doctor is uncertain if Aunt Betty will survive. Aunt Betty is Manny’s favorite relative and confidante.

What is normal? What is real? What is happening? When is this “fill-in-the blanks” experience going to end?

Understanding Spiritual Flow

Manny’s attempt to rationally deal with the virus landscape leads him down a well-worn mental circuit. Like everyone else he reverts to non-stop news, social media and texting. This worn-out mental path contributes to disturbances in our body and emotions. When these disturbed parts are unsettled, we continue towards madness or force ourselves to demand a different answer. If Manny allows himself to be open, his creative and intuitive mind will kick into gear and a deeper, more grounded inner voice will emerge.

Spiritual flow lies deep within us and emanates from underlying energy reserves. Spiritual flow possesses our inherent purpose and direction. Instead of feeling weighed down by drama, spiritual flow meets us in a genuine elevated plane of light, breath and wisdom. It deepens our inner-connection to ourselves and humanity. Through flow we are restored, lifted and lovingly supported by our Higher-Selves and The Divine.

Can Manny find his way to peace?

Exposing Erroneous Ego

We can tap into spiritual flow by observing who or what most influences us. Manny’s exposure to outside chaos distracts him. Flow disruptions lead to relentless ego identification, and allow superficial addictions to drama, gossip and struggle to flourish.

Spiritual flow, contrarily, nudges us to abandon ego by breaking away from disruptions. Ego collapses when we encounter the face of courage, contentment and kindness. Ego is snuffed out when fully aligned with Peace, Love and Joy.

By being selective about his daily influencers, Manny will encounter less emotional and spiritual resistance. What are his values? In the past Manny has valued growth, flexibility and humor. In the midst of this pandemic, how can he maximize these values while drastically minimizing obsession, misery and cynicism?

A positive answer will help to align to his strength and values. Upward and forward will navigate his desires to be happy and shift toward positive directions.SPIRITUAL READINGS


Persistent disruptions keep our bodies on high alert. Since COVID-19 erupted in his community, Manny’s stomach performs non-stop flip flops. His mind spits-out endless questions.

He is heartbroken over Aunt Betty and worries if he will get to see her again. He feels guilty for not protecting her from the virus. His guilt leads him to feel tired, cranky and off balance. From this fragile place Manny assumes he has no resources to help him cope and return to a healthy equilibrium.

Ego loves to summon heartbreak, worry and struggle. Heartbreak knocks. Worry passes by. Life will always present. pain. If these conditions are permitted to take up residence in the mind, suffering follows. In holding onto suffering, we act and interact with others from a place of conflict. We allow ourselves to incarnate into aspects of the struggle itself.

Balance signifies we have found a way to relinquish or put aside the need to control. Balance allows us to generate ease. We don’t have to suffer simply because it appears everyone around us is under its thrall. We don’t have to remain in a state of angst merely because a particular timeline appears to present without end.

Opening the Self to spiritual flow gives us room to explore suffering from a place of compassion and curiosity. It encourages and allows us permission to laugh and relax.

“The definition of self-trust is firm reliance on integrity of Self. A difference exists between a life that is grounded in self-trust and one that is not. When we look at examples of people who are self-trusting, we find their choices exhibit clarity and confidence. They speak with an authority that emanates from a deep place within, but which is not arrogant. They are careful observers and have cultivated the capability to learn from all experiences, both successes and failures.

— Linda and Charlie Bloom

Trusting the Divine

This virus is not Divine punishment. The Divine did not do this to us. There is no Divine Retribution. Humanity is out of balanced spiritual flow. We are in need of an adjustment. On the other side of adjustment is freedom, a shift in perspective, a trusting in natural order and attunement with natural order.

Manny dares to dream and to trust that the virus will slow down and allow his family to vacation together this summer. By engaging his positive imagination, Manny imagines a beautiful road trip, time with friends, and hikes with his wife. Each time Manny trusts his heart and intuition, he discovers fresh insights.

Manny comes home

To stay in a place of trust and spiritual flow, Manny repeats the following words when he awakens each morning:

I trust.
I trust in prayer.
I trust in change.
I trust myself.
I trust in Peace, Love and Joy.
I trust others.
I trust my body.
I trust in miracles.
I trust in my gifts, my light and my truth.
I trust that everything has an expiration date, everything is temporary.
I trust that I am not alone. I am connected to the Divine and to all beings.

Manny’s inner work emphasize the importance of slowing down, getting proper rest and maintaining self-care efforts. He reaches out daily to friends to see how they are doing and offer words of encouragement. He shares his light-hearted positive side. To stretch his body and do something good for his mind Manny gets up 15 minutes early.

For Manny, coming home is more than existing in a physical shelter. He knows that spiritual flow will keep him aligned in his True North.

Dedicated to Barby, with love and gratitude for sharing your words!

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